I Bleeping HATE College (A College Students' Rant)
We have all been there, pulling at our hair and crying to the ceiling above. Now let's talk about it. Let's talk about why we hate college, but refuse to drop out. This will be a interesting post, am I right? No? Okay, just ignore this introduction and keep reading.
*Disclaimer: If the need to toss a nearby item at the unfairness of college presented in this post arouses in you, do not do it. It is a set up! Besides, you will have to pay for whatever you broke. Consider yourself warned*
You are sitting in your bedroom or dorm room, lazily clicking through blackboard or canvas (or whatever your college uses) and you accidentally click the assignments tab. You try not to cry as your professors may have all gathered together to create unrealistic due dates and trivial assignments; these things also just so happen to be due around the same time. Your professors must all have a hidden vendetta against you. How else would your Sociology professor know that on the same day his twenty page essay is due, your english professors fifty page paper is due? It is definitely not magic! Now you are stuck trying to finish these two overly dramatized papers while still deciding whether you have enough quarters to get that bag of Lays out of that vending machine that may or may not have magically appeared out of nowhere (Do not judge me, this is your dramatization, not mine) and finally you break down. You bleeping hate college.
You my young grasshopper, are not alone. Cue that 1995 classic sung by no other than the moonwalking man with the sparkly glove, Michael Jackson. Gosh darn, what a classic! Robert Kelly did his thang on that one. Yes, I wrote thang and no, I am not too young to use that word. On a lighter note, I am totally experiencing nostalgia with this post.
Anyways, let us return to the subject at had: why we bleeping hate college. Now this post is not a full rant, but there are a few issues that will be addressed: The lack of sleep students suffer from, Choosing between social life or study life, and finally, Having a conniption about finals. I am breaking these three topics into sub-categories, and without further ado, let the rant begin!
The Lack of Sleep Students Suffer From:
Sometimes as a college student, dropping out does not sound so bad if it means that we can catch some well deserved zzz's. I understand that with greatness comes work ethic (or something like that), but when should it cost us (college students) our health? So maybe we should put down the iPhone (or Android, not excluding you babies) more often than we do, but we are humans. Humans that use the little devices in our hands as a escape mechanism. Well, stalking our ex's page may not seem valuable to escape the stress of college demands, but it does help. Sort of- not really. That is not the point, the point is, well, college kids should be able to breathe a little more without feeling the need to have to over stretch ourselves. We are just kids playing dress-up after all.
Choosing Between Social Life or Study Life:
Oh my, do not get me started on this bad boy. I think this may even be considered the most trivialized thing for college students by parents and other respective adults. College students are often expected to exile themselves into their studies and hiss - like a vampire in the face of light - at the mere thought of going out or even being social period. Now before anyone comes at me irate for whatever reason, understand one thing first: college students know that sometimes we (college kids) tend to mess up our social life by focusing more on that than our "study life". That is perfectly understood, but I am speaking for those who have no choice. The college kids who were either never taught how to balance the two big S's (social and study), in a college students life or do not believe they need a social life to save them from their studying life. Everyone knows that the latter is a lie. College kids need a social life and sometimes college itself hinders that. Then there is the fact that college kids have to take the rap for this as well. I guess it is safe to say that this topic is still being reviewed by the discussion board.
Having a Conniption About Finals:
I now resent the word "final" because of college. It may as well be an innuendo for a death sentence. A "be all, end all" contract for the end or beginning of your future. I am pretty sure I quoted that reference wrong, but that is not the point. The point is that finals are of course and obviously a crucial part of college. Finals can have you sweating buckets or sipping long island ice tea on the beach. Yeah, finals is serious business. Which is why I making a ridiculous rant about it. Do not take me seriously for this one. Now onto our subject: finals. Finals would not exist if I was president of the world. I mean I would much rather require professors give their students three big test over the course of the semester and give trinkets of assignments here and there. There would be no need to get a kick out college kids sweating bullets or pulling their hair out. I believe many college kids would agree.
There you have it folks, a three subject rant on why we bleeping hate college. Now I hope you did not take me too seriously. This post was meant to shed a little light on the understanding college student who reads this. He or she knows what I am talking about. Other than that, I hope I did my job with my quirky and irrational reasonings.
Until next post, this is according to M.E.
